我們的母親聂光瑶女士
作者 朱兆元
母亲聂光瑶女士于1914年12月8日出生在中国上海名门。 她的家境优越，父亲是聂其焜，字潞生，曾任上海恒丰纱厂董事长和总经理。恒丰纱厂是二十世纪初上海市黄埔江边最大的私营棉纺厂。外公亦是湖南省最早最大的医学院——湘雅医学院创始人之一，并任第一届学生的英语教师。她的母亲黄蕴仁是四川盐商的女儿。外公、外婆共有八个子女，母亲排行第七。

母亲的祖母曾纪芬是清朝名臣曾国藩的小女儿。母亲从小家中书架上放着曾文正公（曾国藩去世后清朝廷赐谥号“文正”）纂写的书，墙上挂的是文正公的对联，听到的是文正公家训。她的祖父聂缉規是上海一任道台（即现在的市长），后任江苏和浙江两省省长，又是清朝军工企业江南制造局总经理。

外公重视对子女的教育，尽管母亲是女孩，也一样让她受最好的教育，送她上大学。 母亲从小学四年级开始上寄宿学校。她的小学是启明(Morning Star Girls’ School) ，初中是晏摩氏女学校 (Eliza Yates School for Girls) ，高中是中西女中 (McTyeire School)，三个都是教会学校，学生的英语程度高。高中毕业后她在上海沪江大学 (Shanghai University) 专攻英语。中西女中实行双语教学，除中文课和历史课以外，其它科目都用英语教。 在中西女中她是一个德智体皆优的好学生。 她爱好体育运动，如骑自行车，打网球，同时是学校戏剧社的骨干。

母亲在1939年嫁给了父亲朱俊声。朱家是上海有名的望族，上海滩商船世家，还是传统的天主教大家庭。祖父朱季琳是华商电器公司和合众轮船公司的的老板。祖父的哥哥西满－朱开敏是耶稣会会士，自有中国籍主教以来的第一人。他在1926年至1960年间担任天主教华籍海门教区首任主教。父亲兄弟姐妹共14人，全都是虔诚的天主教徒。他的弟弟朱洪声是耶稣会的神父，他的姐姐朱鸿璋是拯亡会的修女。母亲婚后也成了一个虔诚的天主教徒。

说母亲是个好女儿，好姐妹，好妻子，好母亲，好教友，一点也不为过。

母亲的姐姐因丈夫受政治迫害，从上世纪五十年代早期就开始守寡。她总是帮姐姐一把，尽力照顾她及她的四个孩子。姨妈五十多岁时病重，母亲又承担起责任，经常探望她，替她换药，擦身，换衣服。姨妈临终前，母亲为其祷告，希望她的姐姐能升天国。姨妈过世后，母亲仍多次亲自做饭招待姨妈的孩子们。他们现在都已七十左右，仍然念念不忘母亲的善良。

1953年，我们的父亲被定为“反革命”，啷当入狱，几年后因病重保外就医。 1962年，父亲再次被关入监狱，我们遭遇抄家。1966年“文革”刚开始，全家就被“扫地出门”，一家三代人挤在一间阴暗潮湿的车库，一无所有。母亲被关进“牛棚”，被逼挖阴沟，扫厕所。我们姐弟俩因家庭出身不好，都失去了上大学的机会。1975年8月2日，我们的父亲不堪迫害，含冤病逝。当时她的女儿没有工作，女婿被下放安徽劳动改造，外孙女刚刚出生。儿子也因信仰天主教被判刑后送到安徽劳改营，一家人天各一方。

坚强的母亲忍辱负重，挑起了照顾和负担全家的重担。她白天在上海外贸局做文书工作，晚上回家照顾全家。那时候外公年纪已大，虽然有八个子女，在上海的只有四舅和母亲。她每天都去看望外公，为他处理日常生活琐事，坚持了十多年直到外公去世。外公晚年有母亲的精心照料，可谓有福之人。

1976年“文革”结束。在随后的几年里，儿子回到了上海，一家人团聚。母亲被聘为上海船舶研究所的英语教师，教授研究所的高级领导英语。母亲还在家里收了一批热诚学习英语，准备出国的学生，他们中有医生，工程师，音乐家。所有的学生都极其敬重母亲，珍惜学习的机会。然而团聚的日子并不长，母亲为了给全家人创造更好的生活，在1983年，近70岁高龄时，独自一人带着50元美金和一个箱子到了美国。母亲拿的是探亲签证，为了延长在美国合法居留的时间，母亲重回大学，转成了学生身份。谁又能想到70岁的母亲仍然是全优学生呢？母亲在KFC打过工，也做过家庭护理，照顾老人和病人。有时，她照顾的老人比她还年轻。

母亲在美国虽然物质贫穷，但精神丰富。她又可以自由地去教堂参加教会活动了。正是这段时期，母亲参与到了圣荷西华人天主教团体。 母亲充分地展现了英文优势，为华人团体和主教府架起了桥梁，使华人团体迅速成长和壮大起来。母亲在圣母军和松柏组里非常活跃，她在团体中结交了很多朋友，受到他们的帮助。她每天独自乘公车去主教府义务上班，直到九十岁才在家人的劝说下退休。

1995年母亲凭着12年的辛勤工作和无私奉献，终于等到了儿子全家和女儿、女婿移民美国。唯一外孙女因已成年未能同行。此时母亲已经84岁了。她为两家人找房子，买家具，介绍工作，联系学校。三年后她又资助外孙女移民加拿大。至此全家人都到了北美，母亲多年的愿望终于实现了。

母亲爱好运动，九十多岁仍然健步如飞，她爬楼梯，不坐电梯。她每天坚持做体操，写日记。后来她的记忆日渐消退，身体也开始老化，在100岁生日后不能独立生活。2015年2月母亲患肺炎后搬到了圣荷西13街的老人护理院。在护理院期间，母亲患过两次肺炎，摔倒过几次，每次都化险为夷。女儿，女婿，儿子每天都去看望她，给她喂饭，带她坐在轮椅上做操，陪她说话，看照片，听音乐。母亲的各项器官日渐衰老消退，自一年前她只能吃半流质的食物。

11月1日早上，母亲在吃完早饭后呕吐两次，随后呼吸困难，处于昏迷状态。护理院立即为她接氧气。晚上10:56， 母亲安详地被天父接走了。这一天，是诸圣节，第二天是追思已亡日。天父选这天接母亲走，是天父的恩爱。

在母亲近103年的生命中，她经历了盛世的繁华，战火的灾难，政治的迫害，中年丧夫的悲痛，家人分离的孤独。但她是有福之人，她承受了天父的爱。是信仰陪着她走完一生，她从未抱怨，永远感恩。我们感谢母亲为我们的付出。母亲已经在天国中得到了永生。

Our Mother Mrs. Katherine Nie
Our mother Mrs. Katherine Nie, was born on December 8, 1914 into a prominent family in Shanghai, China. She was the 7th of eight children in the family. Her father Nie Qikun, was the Chairman and General Manager of the Henfeng Textile Mill, the largest privately-owned cotton mill in the early part of the 20th century in the Shanghai Huangpu River area. In addition, he was one of the founders of the largest medical school in Hunan Province, the XiangYa School of Medicine, and served as its first English language teacher. Her mother Huang Yunren, was the daughter of respected Sichuan salt merchants.
Mother’s grandmother Zeng Jifen was the youngest daughter of Zeng Guofan, First Class Marquis Yiyong Wenzhen, renowned statesman, military general, and scholar of the late Qing dynasty. Mother’s childhood home was filled with books and couplets written by her great-grandfather the Marquis, and she learned his directives passed from generation to generation. Her grandfather Nie Jigui was appointed as the first Mayor of Shanghai, and later the Governor of Jiangsu and Zhejiang provinces, and additionally served as the General Manager of the Qing dynasty military industrial enterprise, the Jiangnan Manufacturing Bureau.
Education was highly valued and of great importance for the Nie family children, whether male or female, and therefore our mother was given the best possible education. From the fourth grade, she started her boarding school at Morning Star Girls’ School. In middle school, she attended Eliza Yates School for Girls, and her high school was McTyeire School. All three schools were Catholic schools where students maintained the highest levels of English proficiency. At McTyeire School, all subjects were taught in English with the exception of Chinese and History classes. Our mother was a model student; she was athletic; loved cycling, playing tennis, and was also an integral part of the drama club. After graduating from high school, she went on to specialize in English at Shanghai University.
In 1939, our mother married our father Gabriel Zhu, who was one of fourteen children of the Zhu family. The Zhu family was a devout Catholic family and one of Shanghai’s most respected merchant clans. Father’s younger brother Zhu Hongsheng, was a priest in the Society of Jesus, and his elder sister Zhu Hongzhang, was a nun. Our grandfather Zhu Jilin, was the owner of both the Huashang Electric Company and the Hezhong Shipping Company. Grandfather’s elder brother was Bishop Simon Zhu, the first ethnic Chinese bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Haimen, serving from 1926 to 1960. Mother became a devout Catholic herself after her marriage into the Zhu family.
In the early 1950s, our mother’s elder sister lost her husband due to political persecution, and soon thereafter became very ill herself. Mother took on the responsibility of taking care of her sister and her four children. She regularly visited our aunt, dressing and bathing her. Even after our aunt passed away, mother continued to cook and care for the children, who are now in their 70s and still remember mother’s kindness.
At the dawn of the Cultural Revolution in China, our father was designated a “counter-revolutionary” and was sent to jail in 1953. He became seriously ill and was released a few years later to allow for medical treatment. However, in 1962, he was imprisoned once again, and all property of the Zhu family was confiscated. In 1966, the Zhu family were “swept away” into a dark and wet garage, left penniless and in abject poverty. Mother was locked up and forced to clean gutters and toilets. We lost the opportunity for any higher education. On August 2, 1975, our father could no longer bear the persecution and died of illness. At the time, I (daughter Suzanne) had no work, my husband was sent away to Anhui for labor reform, our daughter was just born. I (son Timothy) was also sent to Anhui labor camps, persecuted for his Catholic beliefs. All three generations of the Zhu family were broken apart.
Mother endured through the revolution, and she rose up to devote herself to caring for our family as a single mother. During the day, she worked as a clerk at the Shanghai Foreign Trade Bureau, and at night returned home to take care of us. In addition, she visited our elderly grandfather every day and took care of his daily needs; she persisted in her filial duties for over a decade until his passing.
In 1976, the Cultural Revolution finally came to an end, and I (son Timothy) was able to return to Shanghai to reunite with the family. Mother was hired as an English teacher for the Shanghai Shipbuilding Institute, teaching English to the Institute’s senior leadership. As a private tutor, my mother accepted a number of enthusiastic English learners who were preparing to go abroad, among which included doctors, engineers, and musicians. All her students deeply respected mother as their teacher, and cherished the opportunity to learn from her. Alas, the period of reunion did not last long for our family. In her yearning to create a better life for our family, mother came to America in 1983 with $50 and a suitcase. She returned to college so that she could legally continue her stay in the United States. Who would think that a 70-year-old grandmother would be one of the top students in school? In order to support herself, our mother took jobs at Kentucky Fried Chicken, as a housekeeper, and taking care of the sick and elderly. There were times when her patients were younger than her!
In 1995, after 12 years of hard work and selfless dedication, mother finally reunited with her children who were able to immigrate to the United States. At this point, she was 84 years old. But she still helped the two families look for housing, buy furniture, find jobs and schools. Three years later, she helped her granddaughter immigrate to Canada. And finally, mother’s long-awaited dream to have the family on the same continent was realized.
Although our mother did not have a high material standard of living in the United States, her life was unquestionably rich in spirit. She was free to go to church to attend church events, and became actively involved in the San Jose Chinese Catholic Mission. She was fully able make use of her superior English skills, helping to establish connections for the Dioceses and the community that allowed SJCCM to grow. She was an active member of the Legion of Mary and Senior Group, making many friends, and benefitting from their help. Every day, she took the bus by herself to go to work at the Diocese of San Jose, finally retiring at the age of 90 after much persuasion from our family.
Into her 90s, mother was still active and vigorous; she insisted on taking the stairs. She exercised daily and kept a diary. In later years, mother’s memory began to diminish and her body started to age, and after her 100th birthday, she was no longer able to live independently. After a bout with pneumonia in February of 2015, she moved into the San Jose Healthcare and Wellness Center nursing home. During her time there, we visited with her every day – feeding her, taking her for a stroll in her wheelchair, talking with her, looking at pictures, and listening to music. About a year ago, mother transitioned to a semi-liquid diet as her health continued to decline.
On the morning of November 1, she had difficulty breathing, and slipped into a coma. At 10:56pm that evening, she was taken away serenely by our Heavenly Father. That day was All Saints’ Day and the day following was All Souls’ Day. That our Heavenly Father chose to take mother on this day, was an expression of His love and grace.
Our mother was a good daughter, a good sister, a good wife, a good mother, and a good friend. In her nearly 103 years, she experienced flourishing prosperity, the disaster of war, political persecution, the loss of her husband in middle age, family separation, and loneliness. Nonetheless, she has lived a blessed life, supported by God’s grace. Her unshakable faith has accompanied her through this life. We are deeply grateful to mother for all the sacrifices that she has made for all of us, to allow for the life we have today.
Mother, may you eternally rest in peace in the kingdom of heaven.